8 Lessons from home renovations that might save your sanity.

Napoleon stated ‘the first virtue of a soldier is endurance of fatigue; courage is only the second virtue.’ I reckon he wrote that lesson after a battering and exhausting house renovation or remodel. These are fraught with decision fatigue, sleeplessness, being a prisoner of other people’s schedules. Your space is constantly invaded by an army of tradespeople or contractors. But to compound that reality, everyone else thinks you’re supposed to be enjoying this and you’re definitely looking forward to the end results. That last point feels difficult when a steady stream of slippages and issues sees a six week project entering its 14th week – and you’re still not clear when it will be over. It’s not the done thing to punch a well-meaning neighbour in the throat when they casually say ‘you must be so excited about it!’. At the risk of sounding all ‘first world problems’ the stress is real. So this post presents some of the lessons I’ve learned from renovations, which might just help you brace yourself for the stress, if not reduce it.

Lesson 1: Expect contractors to take shortcuts

Tradespeople will always take the path of least resistance – ie. do it the way that suits them/they’ve always done it/everyone else has it. This is, in my opinion, the most important renovations lesson to keep in mind. You will see how it interlinks with other lessons below. It’s also often the one you can sometimes forget and then be rudely reminded of too late, requiring either work to be redone or your design to be compromised. Remember that this is your vision and your home. You must be prepared to communicate and defend that vision to contractors, who will sometimes look at you in disbelief.

A few examples:

• Repositioning a newly hung radiator (baseboard heater) because the plumber assumed it should be positioned centrally under the window. That didn’t take into consideration the new cupboard going in the corner next to said window, which needs to actually open.

• A plasterer (or drywaller) being put out that you want him to create a rough and bumpy finish to match the rest of the ancient chimney breast, rather than the smooth surface he thinks everyone should want.

• Spending the weekend filling in numerous gaps between the wall plaster and floor because, contrary to ‘standard practice’, you do not want skirting board (or baseboard – which would have hidden the gap) on a rustic fireplace which has never had one before.

You need to know at least roughly, if not exactly, what you want, and communicate that in detail to all your contractors – they are not mind readers. Nor are they always right – they may have experience and know what works, but remember it’s always what works for them – you might want or need something different. Work with them to deliver that, or jointly find a suitable compromise if they genuinely feel your requirement will cause problems such as damp, excessive maintenance, cleaning nightmares etc.

Lesson 2: So. Many. Decisions

I actually enjoy the finer details, and believe the devil is in them. As the great Charles Eames said, ‘the details are not the details – they make the design’. So I can happily spend hours planning where best to put sockets/outlets, the shape and size of a banquette seat to avoid knee clashes, how high above the window reveal a blind should be positioned. But my God, you need to be prepared for the barrage of decisions needed on the spot – from ‘where do you want this (ugly) room thermostat positioned?’(sadly not in a cupboard) to ‘if you want that fireplace lintel raised, how are you going to support this end of the house when we remove these chimney bricks?’

Then there are the contingency-level decisions. By this I mean the important and usually unexpected decisions that are going to eat into your contingency funds. Often right at the start of the renovation. One of mine was discovering a floor substrate was damp – and a decision needed to either dig up the floor and a foot of earth beneath to lay a new 25 square meter concrete slab (expensive, time consuming, but resulting in a level floor with better insulation) or cover the existing floor with a barrier liquid and lots of self levelling (compromising the already low ceiling height, but quick and cheaper). Not an on the spot decision – I was given a weekend for that one.

To be fair though, you will also be giving your builder a multitude of decisions to make and problems to solve. Mine had to decide how to pour the concrete slab around a 200 year-old wooden post which was the only thing holding up one end of the house.

To DIY or Don’t during your renovations. Photo by Roselyn Tirado on Unsplash

Lesson 3: If you think you can DIY a job to help the schedule, you can’t

This isn’t a case of not being capable, it’s a case of ruining the sequence. With the plan slipping week by week, you may want to spend some evenings and weekends doing painting or tiling or filling and sanding. But more often than not it turns out that’s not possible – you can’t get dust all over the prepped floor that’s going to be tiled next week, you can’t tile the fireplace for your new stove because the tile trim has to be fitted onto a floor that hasn’t yet been laid. So my advice is to roll with it and accept that sometimes you simply have to wait.

Lesson 4: Don’t over-commit yourself in other areas of your life

The decision fatigue, tension and sleeplessness caused by all this loss of control is going to take its toll. You will find your exercise routine suffers, you don’t have the energy to drive 2 hours to visit friends or family for the day, and if you work from home you will need to explain to colleagues that having the power down for 3 hours whilst the electrician sorts out your new outlets and switches will definitely impact delivery of that report.

Breakfast wine may become a feature of your home renovations

But… Lesson 5: Don’t think you can escape

There will be times when there are just too many contractors in the house/flat, there will be times when your inner fuse is getting dangerously short. And you will dream of escape – be that long-term moving out, or just an away day. Sure, you can take it – but don’t think that the remodel won’t follow you there. Accept that there’ll be at least one daily call from your builder with yet another of those questions and decisions needed, no matter how well meaning they are. So no, there’s no actual escape until the renovations are over.

Lesson 6: Agree finishes at the start.

They are a misnomer, finishes – there’s an implication you don’t need to trouble yourself with them until nearly everything is finished. Yes, for some finishes, that might be the case – selecting your wallpaper, or wall paint colours does not need to involve discussions and decision with the builders. But floor finishes, tiles, kitchen counter tops, the power output of your new oven – these and others do impact the work and downstream decisions of your building team, so raise your requirements or ideas early. The aforementioned gap between freshly plastered wall and concrete slab awaiting tiles could have been more neatly managed if there had been an earlier discussion about skirting boards. 

Lesson 7: Your front door will always be open and your house cold

Not much more to say about that – stock up with hot drinks (if you’ve power and a water supply), blankets, sweaters and patience.

The tool room during one of my renovation projects. Keep the door closed!

Lesson 8: Document where you’ve temporarily moved stuff, or forever be hunting it

I opened with a critical renovations lesson, and I’m closing with another. Writing ‘kitchen stuff’ on 3 large packing boxes is not enough. Whatever time the builder says the works will take, mentally add at least another 50% – and let this be front of mind when you work out what you can do without for that time. For everything you do need you will need to find temporary homes and you will need a detailed written list of what exactly is where, prominently displayed on a wall or in a digital note. Now you can store things in the most ridiculous places and easily retrieve them when required. Renovations are expensive – don’t add to the cost buying replacement items because you’ve misplaced the original. You might also use this chance to (whisper it) declutter.

Remodeling Takeaways:

• Expect delays
• Prepare for stress
• Make decisions early
• Communicate often
• Keep a clear inventory

The experience can be intense. But armed with a little wisdom (and a lot of labels), you’ll make it through.